Titanquisitor Video Presents
Thalia’s Back Room
13 Films • 13 Days • Zero Supervision
ADULTS ONLY.
Beyond this curtain lie questionable movies, gratuitous nudity,
terrible acting, and an absolutely irresponsible film critic.
Management is not responsible for what you witness.
Titanquisitor Video
THALIA'S BACK ROOM VIDEO EMPORIUM
The Halls' Least Respectable Rental Establishment
Welcome to my private collection, you beautiful degenerates. Thirteen films, thirteen days, and just enough blood, boobs, cheese, and terrible judgment to carry us all the way to Halloween.
Some of these are already on the shelf and ready for rental. Some are still waiting for me to finish screaming at the television. Either way, if it’s in this room, it belongs here.
“Do not ask where Theia thinks I am. Do not touch the tapes with greasy fingers. And if a review is marked ORGASMIC, that is a serious critical distinction.”
— Thalia
Now Playing / Coming Soon
Howling II
Day 1
Howling II
COMING SOON
Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning, and absolute nonsense.
Not Yet Rewound
The Haunting of Morella
Day 2
The Haunting of Morella
COMING SOON
Gothic sleaze, Lana Clarkson, and a very conflicted Thalia.
Not Yet Rewound
Sorority House Massacre II
Day 3
Sorority House Massacre II
COMING SOON
Ouija boards, shower squeaks, and Jim Wynorski filth.
Not Yet Rewound
Night of the Demons
Day 4
Night of the Demons
COMING SOON
Halloween chaos and demon-party energy.
Not Yet Rewound
Chopping Mall
Day 5
Chopping Mall
COMING SOON
Mall robots, mayhem, and peak B-movie comfort food.
Not Yet Rewound
Nightmare Sisters
Day 6
Nightmare Sisters
COMING SOON
A life-changing bathtub sequence.
Not Yet Rewound
Stripped to Kill
Day 7
Stripped to Kill
COMING SOON
Neon sleaze and undercover trash-cinema energy.
Not Yet Rewound
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
Day 8
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
COMING SOON
Exactly as tasteful as the title suggests.
Not Yet Rewound
Frankenhooker
Day 9
Frankenhooker
COMING SOON
Absurd, iconic, and gloriously unhinged.
Not Yet Rewound
Bordello of Blood
Day 10
Bordello of Blood
COMING SOON
Vampires, comedy, and 90s excess.
Not Yet Rewound
Spring Break Massacre
Day 11
Spring Break Massacre
COMING SOON
Cheap thrills and suspiciously bad decisions.
Not Yet Rewound
Dr. Alien
Day 12
Dr. Alien
COMING SOON
Sci-fi horniness from another dimension.
Not Yet Rewound
Return of the Living Dead
Day 13
Return of the Living Dead
COMING SOON
Brains, punk energy, and a perfect finale.
Not Yet Rewound
Management Complaints
Below are official Hall records documenting the increasingly unstable administrative fallout surrounding this feature.
-
Hall Strip Special — “Spook-n-Boobtacular Approved”
-
Hall Strip — Theia Tries to Ban Sunday Sleaze (link coming soon)
-
Hall Strip — Gary Explains the Schedule to Thalia (link coming soon)
Store Rules
- Be kind. Rewind.
- No whining to Theia about the standards of criticism in this room.
- If Thalia starts shouting at the movie, that is part of the experience.
- If Titan is laughing in the hallway, mind your business.
- If a decree exceeds five stars, the house recognizes it anyway.