Movie reviews from Titanquisitor. Classic films, new releases, and everything in between — reviewed without a political agenda and without telling you how to feel about them. Every review closes with Theia’s Decree, our five star rating scale for film.
The Dungeon opens with Deathstalker, the 1983 Roger Corman sword and sorcery film that defines the genre at its most unfiltered. Theia condemns it. Thalia has feelings about Lana Clarkson. The Never-Ending Countdown begins. Continue reading Deathstalker Review (1983) (Throwback Thursday #8) (Sword, Sorcery & Sin: The Never-Ending Countdown — Entry #1)
This week on Throwback Thursday, I review First Kid. It’s one of those 90s Disney comedies that actually holds up. Sinbad is funny, the chemistry with Brock Pierce works, and the nostalgia hits hard if you grew up with it. Continue reading First Kid Review (1996) (Throwback Thursday #7)
The Memorial Day countdown reaches its last new review at #3. We Were Soldiers covers the Battle of Ia Drang in 1965 with the respect and emotional weight it deserves. Mel Gibson, Sam Elliott, and the entire cast are extraordinary. Full review. Continue reading We Were Soldiers Review (2002)
The Memorial Day countdown reaches #4. Oliver Stone served in Vietnam and spent ten years trying to get Platoon made. That urgency is in every frame. Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, and Charlie Sheen are all exceptional. Full review. Continue reading Platoon Review (1986)
The Indian in the Cupboard had one of the best premises of any 90s kids movie. Toys coming to life as real people with real histories. It just never had the nerve to follow through on what it set up. Continue reading The Indian in the Cupboard Review (1995) (Throwback Thursday #6)
The Memorial Day countdown continues with #5. Hacksaw Ridge tells the true story of Desmond Doss, the unarmed medic who saved 75 men at Okinawa. Mel Gibson directs it with ferocity. Andrew Garfield is extraordinary. Full review. Continue reading Hacksaw Ridge Review (2016)
The Memorial Day countdown rolls on with #6. Full Metal Jacket is two movies in one. The Parris Island half is Kubrick at his absolute peak. The Vietnam half is excellent on its own terms. Both together are essential viewing. Continue reading Full Metal Jacket Review (1987)
Our Memorial Day countdown continues with a review of The Longest Day. This beast covers D-Day from every angle with one of the greatest casts ever assembled. It’s three hours of old Hollywood ambition that still holds up. Continue reading The Longest Day Review (1962)
Patton isn’t really a war film in the traditional sense. It’s a character study of one of history’s most complicated military minds, anchored by George C. Scott’s all-time great performance. Continue reading Patton Review (1970) (Throwback Thursday #5)
Midway got written off by critics in 2019 and that was mostly unfair. Roland Emmerich’s Pacific War epic is flawed but worth your time, especially around this Memorial Day weekend and the lead up to it. Continue reading Midway Review (2019)
Terence Young directs Audrey Hepburn in the most underappreciated film of her career — a claustrophobic thriller that ranks among the best ever made, with one of the great villain performances from Alan Arkin. Continue reading Wait Until Dark Review (1967)
William Wyler directs Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in the film that made her a star. Charming, beautiful, and honest enough to skip the fairy tale ending. A perfect film. Continue reading Roman Holiday Review (1953)
Stanley Donen directs Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn in their only film together — a mystery thriller dressed up as a romantic comedy, and one of the most underrated films of the 1960s. The Audrey Hepburn Rewatch series rolls on, this time doubled up as the fourth Throwback Thursday feature. Continue reading Charade Review (1963) (Throwback Thursday #4)
Blake Edwards directs Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in one of the most iconic performances in cinema history. Charming, beautiful, and a little melancholy in all the right ways. Continue reading Breakfast at Tiffany’s Review (1961)
William Wyler directs Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine in one of the darker films either actress ever made. A child’s malicious lie destroys two women’s lives, and the ending doesn’t pull its punch. Continue reading The Children’s Hour Review (1961)
Mel Gibson at his peak, Jodie Foster at her most charming, and one of the most likable supporting casts of the nineties. Maverick (1994) is still an absolute blast. Continue reading Maverick Review (1994) (Throwback Thursday #3)
Deep Impact came out the same summer as Armageddon and has been unfairly compared to it ever since. It is the better film. Robert Duvall is outstanding, Tea Leoni earns her emotional payoff, and it treats the audience like adults. Continue reading Deep Impact Review (1998)
The Housemaid is now streaming on Starz and it is worth your time. Amanda Seyfried gives the best performance in the film, Sydney Sweeney is as hot as ever, the twist earns its reveal, and it is one of those films with high rewatchability. Continue reading The Housemaid Review (2025)
Kid me watched Blank Check twenty or thirty times and loved every minute of it. Adult me can see the seams. Still a decent watch for the nostalgia and Karen Duffy and Tone Loc make it worth revisiting at least once. Continue reading Blank Check Review (1994)
Here on Earth is everything A Walk to Remember does right, done wrong. Two unlikable leads, a sympathetic boyfriend treated like an obstacle, and an emotional payoff the film never earns. Leelee Sobieski deserved better material than this. Continue reading Here on Earth Review (2000)
