Draft Day is a genuinely interesting behind the scenes look at how the NFL operates on the biggest day of the calendar. Great cast, compelling premise, but the writers didn’t trust their own story enough to leave well enough alone. Continue reading Draft Day Review (2014)
Sabotage wants to be Training Day and a classic Arnold shoot em’ up at the same time. It fails at both. One of the most boring Schwarzenegger films ever made, and that is really saying something. Continue reading Sabotage (2014) Review
Jersey Boys (2014) Here is a musical for old farts. And I’ll go ahead and admit right now, even though I’m only 28, I’ve kind of always been an old fart at heart. When it comes to music that old farts like, it doesn’t get much older or fartier than Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Along with my appreciation for timeless music, I’m also … Continue reading Jersey Boys Review (2014)
The first Taken movie pretty much created a genre of its own. It was a smart fast-paced thriller, and a great watch. The sequel was stylistically appealing, but from a story standpoint was just a confusing mess that I absolutely hated. This movie has almost no style, and director Olivier Megaton (real name) must have broken some kind of record for yelling cut in this … Continue reading Taken 3 (2015) Review
John Wayne was reported to have been offered a part in Blazing Saddles. After reading the script he called back and said “I can’t be in this, it’s too dirty… but I’ll be first in line to go see it when it comes out.” Imagining Wayne in the Wilder role makes me glad he turned it down. The other casting question that often comes … Continue reading Blazing Saddles (1974) Review
The premise here is interesting, the talent is extraordinary, the action and atmosphere is fine, but the end result is one of the most befuddling messes I can long remember. The premise is this; 20 years after the Bosnian war, a retired US soldier now living out in the Appalachian countryside finds a strange hitch-hiker with a secret past. Turns out said hitch-hiker was … Continue reading Killing Season (2013) Review
Almost Famous is a movie I not only love, but was important to me in my formative years, and my life in general. It tells the story of William Miller (Patrick Fugit), a 15 year old kid on assignment for Rolling Stone magazine. He has to cover an up and coming rock band during what critic Lester Bangs (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) calls the dying days … Continue reading Almost Famous Review
It is probably not something I should admit to anyone aside a therapist, but I grew up absolutely loving the hell out of late 70s/early 80s hard boiled revenge movies such as Death Wish and the like. Now as an adult, I occasionally stumble across a title I somehow missed during those years. Ms. 45 was just such a picture. Ms. 45 This movie tells … Continue reading Ms. 45 (1981) Review
In the grand scheme of music history Richie Valens, or Valenzuela (Lou Diamond Phillips) was a minor figure in music history, and his biggest claim to fame is that he died in the same plane crash that took the life of Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper, but his story is such a great little slice of the American dream that it makes for … Continue reading La Bamba (1987) Review
Nick Wild is a Las Vegas bodyguard with a gambling addiction, and an action movie hero addiction as well. Dreaming of escaping this seedy world so he can sail a yacht around Corsica, he earns money through cutesy side jobs like helping losers get laid by letting them beat him up in front of their girlfriends, while serving as the “Mike” Jason Alexander’s “Better Call … Continue reading Wild Card (2015) Review
I’ve seen plenty of movies which required its audience to turn off their brain. ‘Backfire’ (2017) is one of a select few that also requires them to turn off their souls. Note: their brains should still be turned off as well. I had moderate hopes for a mid-level shoot em’ up based on a promising premise that hooked me in the Netflix description and made … Continue reading Backfire (2017) Review
Liam Neeson, as I have stated before, is my jam. If Robert Mitchum or Charles Bronson were still around I would have a harder choice, but since they’re not, Liam is the undisputed king of my favorite hard asses. Ed Harris is also up there, and this movie brings the two of them together as an aging gangster and hitman, both of with grown up … Continue reading Run All Night Review
It is a futile endeavor to review a movie directed/produced by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the duo responsible for such “classics” as Epic Movie, Date Movie, Vampires Suck, Meet the Spartans, and the Scary Movie franchise. This movie is what it is. Nothing I say will discourage those who like this sort of thing to knock it off, and those who weren’t going to … Continue reading The Starving Games Review
For many of my teenage years and into my twenties I was one of those dorky retro kids obsessed with old vinyl records and bands that, if my friends had heard of, they did not care about. I say that because when a film is made about a sub-culture, it is important to get that sub-culture right, and High Fidelity does just that, in a … Continue reading High Fidelity Review
What do you get when you take bits of the Blair Witch Project, Raiders of the Lost Ark, National Treasure, and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, cram them into a giant blender and hit “puree”? This movie; As Above, So Below. The main character here is a female Indiana Jones type searching for the mystical “Philosopher’s Stone” which after quickly solving a few Da Vinci … Continue reading As Above, So Below Review
Two beach bums, one with a military past, and both in an open three way relationship with a hot blonde named Ophelia, start a homegrown marijuana business that becomes very successful. Said business attracts the wrong kind of attention from a very powerful Mexican drug cartel. So, together with the aid of a dirty DEA agent played by John Travolta, the trio will go to … Continue reading Savages Review
I saw this movie in 3D with my wife, who liked it far less than I did, feeling the movie was long on chase scenes and short on story. I say that up front for a little context, but personally I loved that the entire movie is just one long adrenaline rush. The story was started on the run and kept running throughout. Theron’s character … Continue reading Mad Max: Fury Road Review
79 A.D was a very bad year for the city of Pompeii. One of the worst natural disasters of the ancient world occurred as a killer Volcano named Vesuvius erupted and wiped out thousands upon thousands of lives. So now I guess enough time has passed to attempt to turn that tragedy into a silly romantic popcorn movie. I’m game anyway. Too bad that trashy … Continue reading Pompeii Review
Imagine if Sex and the City had been written by gay women about straight men instead of by gay men about straight women. Three best friends make a pact to not enter a relationship and just be tail chasing besties who share an apartment in New York City, but of course all of them wind up falling in love with one lady or another and … Continue reading That Awkward Moment Review
The Purge (2013) starring Ethan Hawke was one of my big disappointments. I thought the premise (all crime being legal for one night) was bloody brilliant, and had mucho potential for social commentary, plus a ton of groovy action in the vein of Escape from New York. Instead, the whole story took place in the house of one rich family on a rich neighborhood being … Continue reading The Purge: Anarchy Review
