Movie reviews from Titanquisitor. Classic films, new releases, and everything in between — reviewed without a political agenda and without telling you how to feel about them. Every review closes with Theia’s Decree, our five star rating scale for film.
Kid me watched Blank Check twenty or thirty times and loved every minute of it. Adult me can see the seams. Still a decent watch for the nostalgia and Karen Duffy and Tone Loc make it worth revisiting at least once. Continue reading Blank Check Review (1994)
Here on Earth is everything A Walk to Remember does right, done wrong. Two unlikable leads, a sympathetic boyfriend treated like an obstacle, and an emotional payoff the film never earns. Leelee Sobieski deserved better material than this. Continue reading Here on Earth Review (2000)
Night Train had Danny Glover, Steve Zahn, and Leelee Sobieski and still managed to be one of the most boring and incoherent thrillers of 2009. A good premise squandered completely. The bottom of the Leelee Sobieski filmography. Continue reading Night Train Review (2009)
With a new Mummy film on the way, it felt like the right time to revisit the 1999 original. Twenty-five years later it holds up remarkably well. Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, and John Hannah are all excellent, and nothing that followed has come close. Continue reading The Mummy (1999) Review
The Elder Son is a light comedy drama that asks very little of you and delivers a pleasant hour and a half in return. Great performances from Shane West, Leelee Sobieski, and a great Rade Serbedzija make it worth your time. Continue reading The Elder Son Review
Leelee Sobieski’s adaptation of The Turn of the Screw builds strong atmosphere and delivers committed performances before stumbling into an ending that undermines everything it set up. Continue reading In A Dark Place Review
Walk All Over Me is a different side of Leelee Sobieski than most of her fans have seen. A scrappy Canadian crime comedy with a loose plot, genuine laughs, and great chemistry between its two leads. Better than its reputation suggests. Continue reading Walk All Over Me Review (2007)
Lars and the Real Girl is not what you think it is. It is sincere, warm, and quietly beautiful, carried by a Ryan Gosling performance that never winks at the audience once. One of the most underrated films of the 2000s. Continue reading Lars and the Real Girl Review (2007)
Joy Ride is a very good thriller carried by an unseen villain with one of the most intimidating voices in modern horror. The cast delivers, the tension is real, and a few logic lapses are the only thing keeping it from being something great. Continue reading Joy Ride Review (2001)
Richard Dreyfuss delivers the best performance of his career in a film that spans thirty years of one man’s life and earns every emotion it asks you to feel. The ending alone is worth the price of admission. Continue reading Mr. Holland’s Opus Review (1995)
Draft Day is a genuinely interesting behind the scenes look at how the NFL operates on the biggest day of the calendar. Great cast, compelling premise, but the writers didn’t trust their own story enough to leave well enough alone. Continue reading Draft Day Review (2014)
The Glass House got a raw deal when it came out in 2001. Revisiting it now, it holds up better than its reputation suggests, carried almost entirely by a Leelee Sobieski performance that deserves far more recognition than it ever received. Continue reading The Glass House Review (2001)
Sabotage wants to be Training Day and a classic Arnold shoot em’ up at the same time. It fails at both. One of the most boring Schwarzenegger films ever made, and that is really saying something. Continue reading Sabotage (2014) Review
The 1999 CBS miniseries had no business being this good. Leelee Sobieski was just sixteen years old and already delivering one of the finest portrayals of Joan of Arc ever committed to screen. This one holds up. Continue reading Joan of Arc Review (1999)
Christine Lahti’s My First Mister is one of the most overlooked films of 2001. Sobieski and Brooks share an unlikely chemistry that carries this quiet gem almost all the way home — almost being the operative word. Continue reading My First Mister Review (2001)
Mel Gibson proves he still has it in this lean, competent survival actioner. As reclusive woodsman Bowdrie protecting his daughter and a wounded woman from ruthless criminals in Oklahoma’s wilderness, Gibson delivers a commanding, grounded performance that elevates a predictable but tense plot. Read our Hunting Season review. Continue reading Hunting Season Review – Mel Gibson Still Has It
Jersey Boys (2014) Here is a musical for old farts. And I’ll go ahead and admit right now, even though I’m only 28, I’ve kind of always been an old fart at heart. When it comes to music that old farts like, it doesn’t get much older or fartier than Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Along with my appreciation for timeless music, I’m also … Continue reading Jersey Boys Review (2014)
The first Taken movie pretty much created a genre of its own. It was a smart fast-paced thriller, and a great watch. The sequel was stylistically appealing, but from a story standpoint was just a confusing mess that I absolutely hated. This movie has almost no style, and director Olivier Megaton (real name) must have broken some kind of record for yelling cut in this … Continue reading Taken 3 (2015) Review
John Wayne was reported to have been offered a part in Blazing Saddles. After reading the script he called back and said “I can’t be in this, it’s too dirty… but I’ll be first in line to go see it when it comes out.” Imagining Wayne in the Wilder role makes me glad he turned it down. The other casting question that often comes … Continue reading Blazing Saddles (1974) Review
The premise here is interesting, the talent is extraordinary, the action and atmosphere is fine, but the end result is one of the most befuddling messes I can long remember. The premise is this; 20 years after the Bosnian war, a retired US soldier now living out in the Appalachian countryside finds a strange hitch-hiker with a secret past. Turns out said hitch-hiker was … Continue reading Killing Season (2013) Review
