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Category: Movie Reviews

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Movie reviews from Titanquisitor. Classic films, new releases, and everything in between — reviewed without a political agenda and without telling you how to feel about them. Every review closes with Theia’s Decree, our five star rating scale for film.

Jason X
Entertainment

Jason X Review

William McPherson

The folks at Digital Dream Door have this movie at number 35 on their list of the 100 worst movies ever made. In his review of this movie Roger Ebert echoes the meta qualities of a quote of one of the characters who, right before being eviscerated by a giant space vacuum screams “This sucks on so many levels!”… I have to say while I agree that yes, this movie is not good in that traditional sense of the word, for what it is (that being a ridiculous crossover genre monster movie like they used to…

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Friday the 13th Part 9
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 9: Jason Goes to Hell Review

William McPherson

This was the first movie of the series to be filmed by New Line Cinema, and boy did they take some liberties here. Like I said in one of the earlier reviews, this was basically Friday the 13th’s version of “Halloween 3: Season of the Witch”, that being a disconnected mess that has almost no continuity with the rest of the series whatsoever (not that the previous entries were big sticklers for continuity mind you). Although for continuity freaks, this movie is the set up to Freddy vs. Jason…

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Friday the 13th Part 8
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan Review

William McPherson

The last of the original Paramount series, this movie suffers from a couple of things. First of all, the budget for the movie was drastically cut, and so many scenes that were to be set in New York, such as Jason in Madison Square Garden, Jason in Central Park etc, had to be cut, and more scenes of Jason on the cruise ship were included. So for the bulk of this movie it is basically Jason takes the Love Boat (which has it's own special charm to it). When he finally does get to the Big Apple…

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Friday the 13th Part 7
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood Review

William McPherson

Until the 2009 reboot, this was last traditional Friday the 13th movie that would be made for over two decades. Every movie after this featured an outrageous gimmick of some kind such as Jason in New York, Jason in Space, Jason as a body jumping Hell Baby (yeah…) but here it’s just good old hockey puss in his natural element, near Camp Crystal Lake dispatching with another horny band of teenagers, and what a horny band of teenagers it was this time. I believe this movie had the biggest cast to…

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Friday the 13th Part 6
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives Review

William McPherson

The third and final installment of the Tommy Jarvis trilogy (with each movie featuring a different actor in the role) goes out with a bang. Thom Mathews is by far my favorite actor to have played this particular protagonist in the entire series. He has a great every-man sort of quality to him, and is far more likable than the usual machete fodder that populate these kinds of films. This Friday the 13th flick has everything you could want from one of these splatter films. To begin with, Jason is…

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Friday the 13th Part 4
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning Review

William McPherson

That final chapter idea of part four thankfully was an empty threat. However, until ‘Jason Goes to Hell’ came out, Friday the 13th Part 5 was the closest thing this franchise had to a “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” type installment---basically, one that most fans of the series tend to purposefully ignore. If you only edited so that the killer actually was (spoiler alert again) Jason Voorhees, instead of lunatic ambulance driver Roy, then it’s really not that much different from the other…

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Friday the 13th Part 4
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter Review

William McPherson

Friday The 13th Part 4 tells the story of Jason Voorhees heroic effort to spare us all from the career of Corey Feldman. The fourth installment in this series was also supposed to be the last, hence the name “Final Chapter”. With that in mind the creators of this movie went all out in making about as good as a by the numbers Jason flick as one can make. The movie opens with a great montage of the first three movies, giving the entire backstory of Jason from little snippets here and there, such…

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Friday the 13th Part 3
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 3 Review

William McPherson

Friday the 13th part 3 is one of my favorites of the entire franchise. My wife and I watched this in glorious 3D with the little cardboard glasses, and were having a laugh a minute. This movie has a lot of firsts for the series. Most iconically, it is the first film to have the killer dawn the legendary goalie’s mask. I say the killer because, and this may have just been an oversight, he is not named as Jason anywhere in the movie, (spoiler alert) although unlike part five, it is generally…

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Friday the 13th Part 2
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Part 2 Review

William McPherson

If the first film in this series was “respectable schlock” this one was just pure schlock, and the series itself was still in the midst of finding its niche. Friday the 13th Part 2 is as straight of a by the numbers slasher flick as you could imagine. The introduction of the Jason Voorhees character (in unexplained grown up form) is the most historically relevant aspect of this movie, and of course, it is another direct rip-off from Halloween, perhaps even more direct this time out because adult…

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Friday the 13th
Entertainment

Friday The 13th Review

William McPherson

I recently bought the entire F13 series on the cheap in several 5 dollar DVD double features, and the wife and I have been watching a couple every week. It is interesting now watching these movies that I used to stay up late watching as a kid. These movies were designed to be seen on dates, or in big group settings, and so I found it useful to have experienced these movies with an extra perspective to take note of. Here’s the plot crunch. Way back in the late 50s young Jason Voorhees drowns in…

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Kill Bill 2
Entertainment

Kill Bill Volume 2 Review

William McPherson

Kill Bill Volume 2 is kind of the yin to Kill Bill Volume 1’s yang (or vice versa). Unlike the first film which was pretty much one action sequence after another with brief moments to set up the next ones, this movie stops occasionally to let the characters---even the villains have their moments of reverence to make their just desserts that much more meaningful/conflicted when they come about. Michael Madsen here has his second best role next only to his work in Reservoir Dogs as a trailer park…

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Kill Bill
Entertainment

Kill Bill Volume 1 Review

William McPherson

Here is a movie that lives or dies on style alone. The story is as simple as it gets, and makes no pretense about existing as anything other than a device to bring us gobs and gobs of sword play and one liners. Uma Thurman is one pissed off Bride on a mission to skewer all the dirty SOBs who murdered her groom and left her for dead at the altar. There were so many aforementioned SOBs it turns out, that this process takes two movies to complete said revenge. We even have the classic set up of the…

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American Beauty
Entertainment

American Beauty Review

William McPherson

This movie is to a dull suburbanite family existence, what Office Space was for a dull corporate office job—a fascinating glimpse at what it may be like to escape, with a reminder of the cost one would have to pay. People often forget that "American Beauty" is a comedy, because of how dark and deep it is willing to go, but it is, and at times a very funny one at that. It is also one of the most painfully human movies of my generation telling the story of a middle aged sad sap named Lester (Kevin…

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Cast Away
Entertainment

Cast Away Review

William McPherson

This review contains spoilers. SPOILERS I SAY! If you haven’t seen it, just move it along here folks. Now, onto business. Cast Away is a great movie that could have been an even better movie, in my opinion, if they lopped off more from both the beginning and closing sections of the movie. Tom Hanks plays a UPS man who is every Tom Hanks cliché rolled into one, a sweet, loving, and generally well liked by everyone kind of guy. He has a fiancée that he is about to wed, before fate and his job put…

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Gangs of New York
Entertainment

Gangs of New York Review

William McPherson

Gangs of New York represents the kind of old school cinematic excess such as Ben Hur and the Ten Commandments, with massive sets and thousands of extras, but with a modern arsenal of special effects to give it a little extra oomph. Daniel Day Lewis plays Bill the Butcher, the old school gangster kingpin of New York in the 1860s. Lewis plays Bill as a shrewd politician, and brutal schemer. His performance, like in most of his films, is the movie. Leonardo Decaprio plays the son of the man who…

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Leaving Las Vegas
Entertainment

Leaving Las Vegas Review

William McPherson

Ben is a divorced screenwriter, recently fired, who has given up on life altogether. A chronic alcoholic, he has decided to take what money he has left and go to Vegas where he plans on drinking himself into an oblivion. Along the way he meets a Vegas hooker named Sera (Elizabeth Shoe) who takes pity on him, and he on her, and they begin a romance so emotionally raw and messed up that it makes Fifty Shades of Grey look like a nursery rhyme. Nicholas Cage has starred in a ton of pointless, lousy…

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Road House
Entertainment

Road House Review

William McPherson

Road House is one of the best lousy movies of all time. It can be enjoyed on many levels too, such as the “Plan 9 From Outer Space” laugh yourself silly at how lousy it is level, the standard “turn off your brain” action movie level, a time capsule of goofy 1980s clothing and hairstyles level, and even a pseudo philosophical level too! That’s more levels than they sell at your local hardware store. Anyway, the plot, for lack of a better term; The Double Deuce is the roughest, toughest, and…

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Cop Land
Entertainment

Cop Land Review

William McPherson

Cop Land is a film that could have easily been a long mini-series with all its got going on in the plot. Garrison, New Jersey in this movie is a town populated entirely by NY city cops. It’s a nice quiet little community, as you would expect, and mortgages are quite reasonable; plus it sure as hell beats living in the same dump they all have to work in. This is so thanks to “Uncle Ray” the boss of the town--- a mobbed up cop played by Harvey Keitel. In a town populated by cops, the actual police…

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Pleasantville
Entertainment

Pleasantville Review

William McPherson2 Comments

David Wagner (Tobey Maquire) seems like the kind of teenager I used to be back in the 90s, that being a teenager obsessed with the past and especially the culture of bygone eras, in his case the 1950s, opting to spend hours in front of the TV watching old reruns instead of engaging in the shallow culture he finds outside. Only instead of Andy Griffith or I Love Lucy he is addicted to reruns of a classic TV show called "Pleasantville," set in a much simpler place and time where everyone adheres…

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The Fisher King
Entertainment

The Fisher King Review

William McPherson

What a strange and wonderful movie! And also, a movie that is sadly quite overlooked in the careers of both lead actors. Jack Lucas (Jeff Bridges), is a self-centered, Manhattan shock jock in the vein of Howard Stern mixed in with a little bit of Rush Limbaugh. At least that’s the persona he puts on when on the air; at home in his luxurious high rise apartment, he’s just a regular guy. All that changes one night when an off handed insensitive remark triggers an unstable caller to commit a mass…

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