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Category: Movie Reviews

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Movie reviews from Titanquisitor. Classic films, new releases, and everything in between — reviewed without a political agenda and without telling you how to feel about them. Every review closes with Theia’s Decree, our five star rating scale for film.

Passion Play
Entertainment

Passion Play Review

William McPherson2 Comments

Mitch Glazer, you son of a bitch, I want both my time and money back, but excluding that I will settle for getting a little self therapy out here for having had to sit through your atrocious movie 'Passion Play' in this review. I hate to start off a post with an out and out obscenity like that folks but I’m really almost at a complete loss for words here. I feel as though my capacity for abject thought has been lowered substantially in the last ninety minutes of my life, and I therefore need to…

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Entertainment

(500) Days of Summer Review

Gary Smith

This is not a love story, or so the tagline goes. It’s also not a chick flick, which in this instance works for the films benefit. (500) Days of Summer is a romantic-comedy that is completely different from every other film in the genre, and that fact makes the movie worth watching and much more realistic. It’s the story of Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and his relationship with Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel) over the course of 500 days. Tom, a greeting card writer, is smitten with Summer…

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The Big Lebowski
Entertainment

The Big Lebowski Review

William McPherson2 Comments

The Big Lebowski is a difficult film for me to review. I have probably spent more time watching this movie than any other movie in existence, but yet, I cannot say that it truly ranks with the all time classics of cinema and maintain my editorial credibility here. From a plot point of view, it’s simply a tangled mess that collapses in on itself many times over. It’s based, loosely, on the classic novel and film, ‘The Big Sleep’ by Raymond Chandler, but instead of having the protagonists be ace…

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The Music Never Stopped
Entertainment

The Music Never Stopped Review

William McPherson

Jim Kohlberg's ‘The Music Never Stops’ is a sweet love letter to the music of the 1960s and early 70s wrapped in a story about a father and his long estranged son reconnecting over the very thing that split them apart so long ago. It is also a story of one of the most bizzare cases of amnesia in recent medical history. The case is based on a true story originally told in the essay entitled ‘The Last Hippie’ by Oliver Sacks. The time is the late 1980s, and Gabriel Sawyer, a child of the sixties…

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A Man Apart
Entertainment

A Man Apart Review

Gary Smith

Sean Vetter (Vin Diesel), a DEA agent, arrests the leader of a major drug Cartel, in Mexico. With Memo Lucero (Geno Silva) in prison, a new player emerges as the top dog in the drug business, a man known only as Diablo. A hit is placed on Vetter, and while the attempt to murder Vetter is thwarted, his wife Stacy (Jacqueline Obradors) is killed. Together with his partner, Demetrius Hicks (Larenz Tate), Vetter sets out for revenge and to bring down the Cartel’s and Diablo once and for all. They…

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Death to Smoochy
Entertainment

Death to Smoochy Review

Gary Smith2 Comments

If you enjoy dark and often obscene comedies, then Death to Smoochy is a must-own movie for you. Robin Williams is at his comedic best as former kid show host, Rainbow Randolph. Rainbow was ousted by Kid Net, after accepting bribes for the show. His replacement is the “squeaky clean”, Sheldon ‘Smoochy’ Mopes (Edward Norton), a fuchsia Rhino who’s catchphrase is “You can’t change the world, but you can make a dent.” The popularity of Smoochy’s Magic Jungle sky rockets to a national phenomenon…

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Enemy Mine
Entertainment

Enemy Mine Review

Gary Smith

Willis Davidge (Dennis Quaid) is a soldier in a war set in the future; a war between the Earth humans and the Reptilian aliens known as the Dracs. Davidge crash lands on a distant alien volcanic world while in combat with a Drac, Jeriba Shigan (Louis Gossett Jr.). Jeriba also crash lands on the planet. Finding themselves stranded on the unknown and dangerous planet, the two enemies put aside their differences in an effort to survive. The two eventually become friends, brothers even. Dennis Quaid…

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2016 Obama's America
Entertainment

2016 – Obama’s America Review

Gary Smith

2016: Obama’s America enjoyed a ton of success at the box office this Summer, raking in over $30 million and becoming the second highest-grossing political documentary of all time and the fifth highest-grossing documentary of all time. The documentary is based on the book The Roots of Obama’s Rage by conservative author Dinesh D’Souza, who also co-wrote, co-directed, and stars in this film. Folks who haven’t seen the film should know exactly what they’re getting into with this: it’s an…

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Beatles Stories
Entertainment

Beatles Stories: A Fab Four Fan’s Ultimate Road Trip Review

Gary Smith

Synopsis: Songwriter Seth Swirsky grew up idolizing the Beatles. He set out, video camera in hand, to talk to people who had crossed paths with his musical heroes. From Sir Ben Kingsley to Sir George Martin, and Beach Boy Brian Wilson to astronomer Brian Skiff, Swirsky filmed hundreds of personal recollections from people who knew them well to those who just had an unforgettable encounter. Longtime Beatles friend and personal assistant Tony Bramwell calls Beatles Stores, “A Magical Mystery Tour…

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The Expendables 2
Entertainment

The Expendables 2 Review

William McPherson1 Comment

About this time a year ago I penned my review of the original Expendables movie. I am tempted to simply copy and paste it here while just adding a 'two' to the end of the title and maybe make some other slight changes and be done with it, but on second thought this movie does deserve a slightly more thorough job than the likes of that. It's not that the story, thin and paperlike as ever here is any better than that of the original movie, in fact you could argue the plot here is even simpler than…

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Wedding Crashers
Entertainment

Wedding Crashers Review

Gary Smith1 Comment

Wedding Crashers is the story of John (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy (Vince Vaughn), who are two divorce mediators who go to weddings during wedding season (Spring) to pick up chicks and get some free food/alcoholic beverages. The film starts with the duo being shown in action at various weddings, weaving all sorts of lies to fit whatever persona's they use at each individual wedding. As the wedding season comes to a close, Jeremy talks John into crashing one last wedding, a wedding that Jeremy refers…

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Saving Private Ryan Review
Entertainment

Saving Private Ryan Review

Gary Smith2 Comments

Saving Private Ryan is the kind of film you can watch dozens of times and still find something new. Here is a full review of Spielberg's masterpiece ahead of Memorial Day.

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Shooter
Entertainment

Shooter Review

Gary Smith

A former marine sniper, Bob Lee Swagger (Wahlberg) was living more of a solitary mountain life until he is visited by Colonel Isaac Johnson(Glover) who had received a threat on the President’s life. Reluctantly pressed back into service for his country, Swagger must figure out the assassin’s plan for attack and in which city it will occur. Trouble for Swagger is, he’s the fall guy for a coup to kill a visiting dignitary and he must now uncover who is behind the elaborate plot. Chaos and action…

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K-Pax
Entertainment

K-PAX Review

Gary Smith

Kevin Spacey shows why he is the man in this adaptation of the 1995 book by Charles Brewer. Spacey stars in this drama as Prot, a mental institution patient who claims to be a visitor from the planet K-Pax. Prot falls under the care of Dr. Mark Powell (Jeff Bridges), who immediately dismisses “Prot” as delusional. Throughout the course of the movie, several “miracles” happen around the mental hospital, as Prot’s presence seems to calm everyone. Dr. Powell becomes intrigued by his latest patient…

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Entertainment

Black Hawk Down Review

Gary Smith1 Comment

Black Hawk Down might be the most realistic war film ever made. Ridley Scott's account of the Battle of Mogadishu puts you in the streets and never lets you breathe. Full review.

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Eastern Promises
Entertainment

Eastern Promises Review

Gary Smith

After a mysterious girl dies giving birth in a London hospital, Anna Khitrova (Watts) discovers the girl’s diary and tries to use it to find the newborn baby’s relatives. Naturally, it is written in Russian so Anna cannot understand it, but her uncle can, and despite his warnings to stay away, she goes off to seek answers at the Trans-Siberian restaurant that is the front of a violet crime family headed by a man named Semyon (Mueller-Stahl). Semyon’s driver Nikolai (Mortensen) takes a liking to…

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King Arthur
Entertainment

King Arthur Review

Gary Smith

Bob Longino of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution referred to this film as “…a really, really cheap knockoff of Gladiator.” I’m not usually one to agree with professional critics, but this is one of the exceptions to that rule, as this movie did have me thinking, “Damn, this is almost like Gladiator, only not as good.” The story centers around Arthur, who spends a whole five minutes (if that) in this movie as King Arthur, and his Knights of the Round Table, stationed in the British Isles. Arthur…

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Astral City A Spiritual Journey
Entertainment

Astral City: A Spiritual Journey Review

Gary Smith

  Astral City: A Spiritual Journey is a Brazilian film from director Wagner de Assis that is based on the book Nosso Lar (Our Home) by Brazilian medium Chico Xavier as dictated through psychography by the spirit of Dr. André Luiz. Since this is a Brazilian film, the language spoken is Portuguese meaning this is a film you will have to read the subtitles for, which will unfortunately automatically disqualify it for many viewers. The film, and book, tells the supposedly true story of Dr…

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Horrible Bosses
Entertainment

Horrible Bosses Review

William McPherson1 Comment

Let's just get the most important bit out of the way first shall we? Horrible Bosses is a very funny movie. That's all you really needed to know wasn't it? Well, there you have it. If you’re not into the whole analysis thing, feel free to take that free cookie and head on over to the forums to ogle pictures in the Babe Zone. Horrible Bosses is also a very raunchy movie, well deserving of its R-rating, so please, leave the kiddies at home for this one, or send them to another room. In terms of…

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Faster
Entertainment

Faster Review

William McPherson

(Warning, contains slight spoilers) Ah, now this is more like it. For a while there I thought we’d lost you Dwayne. Don’t get me wrong, you were as likeable as ever in all those affable little kids movies like ‘Race to Witch Mountain’ and ‘The Tooth Fairy’, but it was beyond fine time that you returned to your bread and butter, that being a good nitty gritty hard boiled action flick. This last year we were blessed with two such outings from the former WWE superstar, both with similar titles…

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