In an effort to preserve as many of my old columns as I can, I will be occasionally posting them here to give them new life. These are columns largely from my time on the old LOP Columns Forum. They only exist online on my old archive site which is only accessible via the Wayback Machine. These columns were written between June 2004 and July 2010. In 2010, I joined the main page of Lords of Pain/Wrestling Headlines as a columnist. I believe all of my main page columns to be lost to time.
To start my preservation effort, this first installment of A View From the Archives is an evergreen piece that I originally posted in the LOP Forums on July 8, 2010 as part of the first LOP NXT competition. I went on to win that competition to earn my spot on the Lords of Pain main page. This was and still is one of my favorite columns I ever wrote. It’s a simple, condensed history column, but as part of my old The Wrestling Mythology subseries.
I present it now in its original form.
Stinger’s Note: As with all the “Wrestling Mythology” columns, I explain the dating system. Since the previous volumes were centered largely on WWE, years were expressed in terms of WrestleMania. For example, 1994 would have been 10WM, because WrestleMania 10 happened in 1994. This one is of course based in WCW, exploring the myths within the Southern religion. There is a different dating system used; S.C. 11 stands for “Starrcade 11”, so S.C. 11 would be the year in which Starrcade 11 took place (1993). So, our story starts off in 1993 and goes from there.
I know some folks were not a fan at the time and may not get all references made. I have tried to make the names as simple as possible within the context. To help show, I’ll go over the names and places mentioned in the first book so everyone can get an idea and see how easy it is to follow along: Kauboi Watts refers to Cowboy Bill Watts. The Shaw of Atlantis refers to Bill Shaw, a TBS executive. Atlantis is obviously the representation of the Atlanta based WCW. Rossklahoma Sooner is Jim Ross. And, of course, the Gah’den in the Northern Region is Madison Square Garden in the home territory of the WWF. And I think it can go without saying, but the demon Bischoff is Eric Bischoff.
That’s all the explaining I’m going to do, because I think everyone will be able to follow along with the play on names and dates. Now, enjoy reading from…
Borden 1 (S.C. 11)
1 After the priest Kauboi Watts was slain, the young demon Bischoff went before the great Shaw of Atlantis and asked, “Who will be chosen as the Executive Creator and who other than I can spread the Atlantian message to every corner of the Earth?”
2 The Shaw answered, “Bischoff, you are the one He wants to take up the mantel and become the new priest of Atlantis; I have given this land into your hands.”
3 Word of the death of Kauboi had spread throughout the Hall of Heroes and beyond into the kingdoms of the people of Mark and of the people of Smark. And turmoil was spreading across the Southern Region, for though Kauboi had wicked policies, he also had the respect and devotion of the peoples of Mark and Smark and of the Heroes.
4 And the prophet Rossklahoma Sooner, dear friend of Kauboi, went up to the Shaw of Atlantis and expressed his outrage over the demon Bischoff being given the title of Executive Creator and he said unto the Shaw, “Woe be given to the Kingdom of Atlantis for you, great Shaw, have opened the door to Parts Unknown and have sealed the fate of this once great kingdom.”
5 Then the Shaw asked of the prophet, “Sooner, what would you have me do? He has made his decision and the power has been transferred. Bischoff is in power, this is His will and I cannot undo this. Why now, great prophet, have ye so little faith in Him to think that He knows not what He does and that He would bring destruction to His kingdom.”
6 Rossklahoma Sooner answered, “I am the messenger and prophet for Him. You have been duped Shaw, for your he is not my He. Darkness will engulf this region. The Hall of Heroes will fall during this dark period, sacked by a ruthless army of outsider demons from beyond our region. Despair will befall Atlantis and those who stay within these walls, and all the people of Mark and of Smark who worship at the altar of Atlantis. Bischoff is the demon devil and he will bring with him a great bronzed hero, an immortal false prophet who will be rejected. This will be the first sign of the fall of Atlantis; for on the shores of the Gulf, Atlantis will sink.”
7 The Shaw laughed at the prophecy foretold by the prophet and exiled Rossklahoma from the kingdom of Atlantis.
8 The great prophet did not wander long before he found his way to Ceaser’s Palace and eventually the fabled Gah’den of the Northern Region. There he found a new audience to preach the message to and would acquire the means to save many of the heroes of Atlantis from its prophesied demise.
Borden 2 (S.C. 12)
1 In less than a year, the demon Bischoff had deceived the lot of Atlantian priests and gods and became official ruler of Atlantis on Earth, doing the bidding of the Emperor Robert Edward Turner the Third.
2 And Bischoff moved the heavens and the earth to call forth a new savior for the peoples of Mark and Smark to worship.
3 When the Dragon God battled an Atlantian squire, the messenger Schiavonecantannounce proclaimed for all to hear that the bronzed hero formally of the Northern Region, that old serpent, the Python God, was traveling over Mount Kayfabelous towards Atlantis.
4 And The Shaw heard the announcement and he remembered the prophet Rossklahoma’s warning. And the Shaw trembled with fear.
5 Yet when the bronzed hero arrived, he was given a hero’s welcome. The Shaw of Atlantis saw that the people of Mark had embraced the Python God and were bowing before him cheerfully. This soothed the Shaw’s mind.
6 The mean prophet and gossiper Okerlund publically gave praise to the arriving Python God, proclaiming “Without a doubt, the greatest day in the history of Atlantis and all of Rasslin’.”
7 Now in the year S.C. 12, Atlantis was home to two champion gods. Many within the walls of Atlantis and the entire Southern Region yearned to worship but one dominate champion god.
8 And so it came to pass during the XXVIIth “Clash of the Titans” held in the Atlantian Coliseum in the city of North Charleston, that the evil Nature God battled the beloved Scorpion God to determine who was the true Champion God of the World Atlantis.
9 The Scorpion God fought valiantly to vanquish his arch nemesis and restore peace and happiness to the people of Mark and of Smark, and all the little Stinger’s who praised the Scorpion God.
10 But the demon Queen Sinsherri betrayed the Scorpion and caused his defeat to the Nature God. And the people wept for the Scorpion God who was being tortured by the Nature God and Queen Sinsherri.
11 Then the heavens opened, and behold, the bronzed hero arrived in the Atlantian Coliseum to chase away the evil ones and save the Scorpion God.
12 And on this night, the people of Mark took to the streets to sing the praises of the Python God. And they called him “The Chosen One” and boldly proclaimed that the Python was their savior.
13 The demon Bischoff looked out upon the faces of the worshippers and saw that his creation was good. And together with the Emperor and the Shaw of Atlantis, Bischoff declared that the Python God would battle the Nature God to see who truly deserved the title of Champion God of the World Atlantis.
14 In the city Orlandus, the Python God and the Nature God met in a great bash on the Atlantian shore.
15 And the people of Mark and Smark watched the battle unfold in that heavenly ring of smoke, and to the Python they said their prayers.
16 With a thunderous boom and an earthquaking drop, the bronzed hero did vanquish the Nature God. And all the people cheered and praised and gave worship to the new Champion God of the World Atlantis.
Borden 3 (S.C. 13)
1 Now the Demon and the Emperor wanted to conquer the world and spread the Atlantian message past Mount Kayfabelous.
2 And the Emperor asked of Bischoff, “What must we do to destroy the Northern gods who occupy the Gah’den and make slaves of them all?”
3 The demon Bischoff answered, “We must win the loyalty and worship of their followers. Our services have long been held on the Sabbath night, we must infiltrate and bring confusion to the world by holding service on the moon day.”
4 The Emperor heard this and was most pleased. And he said unto the demon, “Then we shall hold services and wage a moon day war against the North. Soon may the Gah’den burn and the false gods turn unto dust.”
5 And on the first day of the Atlantian moon day services, a Northern hero did appear before the gatherers and the battling gods Scorpion and Nature.
6 Now this Northern Narcissist had long been friend to the Scorpion God. And to his friend he said, “Beware the Great Deceiver, that old serpent, for he is a plague and shall bring Atlantis to ruin.”
7 But The Scorpion God had fierce war with the Nature God and his Apocalyptic Horsemen and ignored the warning of his friend. And so the Narcissist formed an alliance with the dastardly dwellers of the Atlantian dungeon and the Horsemen to crush the Python.
8 In the havoc of the All Hallow’s Eve celebration, the Atlantis Giant did momentarily crush the Python God with the help of the Narcissist and the dungeon dwellers and became the Champion God of the World Atlantis.
9 Atlantis fell into a state of chaos in the aftermath, and for the first time a great world war was threatening to destroy the Hall of Heroes.
Borden 4 (S.C. 14)
1 Now a strange thing began to happen. One by one, the people of Mark began to turn against the Python God, just as the people of Smark had done upon his arrival. This worried the Shaw.
2 When the Shaw looked out across the planes he saw darkness on the horizon. And the darkness was coming from the North.
3 And the Shaw remembered the prophecy foretold by Rossklahoma Sooner and expressed grief. The Shaw cried out, “What is this misfortune I have unknowingly brought to the shores of Atlantis? Is the prophecy true, will this darkness bring a plague that shall destroy this empire?”
4 The demon Bischoff answered the grieving Shaw, saying unto him, “Behold foolish Shaw, the great power that soon awaits me and will transform Atlantis for eternity. The cancer will be here soon, old friend, and from the earth a New World Order shall emerge.”
5 And the demon fatally stabbed the Shaw of Atlantis, and with his blood called forth the hellish outsider creatures to ravage the kingdom.
6 So it came to pass during a moon day service that the bad god, Hirsute, God of Machismo and Whiskey, gave notice to the Hall of Heroes that he, and others, were bringing the war.
7 And Hirsute was joined by OzShredder, the Towering God of Sex, and together the outsider duo brought anarchy to the heavens of Atlantis.
8 Now the Atlantian Gods and Heroes were banding together to fight off the invasion and a great battle was to be waged on the two year anniversary of the Python God’s arrival.
9 The Scorpion God, The Narcissist and the savage Macho God all joined forces to abolish the outsider forces of Hirsute and OzShredder and an unknown god.
10 The Narcissist fell in battle, and when the Scorpion and the savage were being crushed, the people of Mark exploded when the Python God came down from the heavens to again save the Scorpion God.
11 Woe be given to the followers of the Python God, for the serpent revealed himself as the Great Deceiver and joined with the invaders to lay waste to the Atlantian Gods.
12 And the Python God proclaimed for all the peoples to hear, “This right here is the New World Order of Rasslin’, and may Hades be unleashed upon the kingdom of Atlantis for its transgressions against me.”
13 When the people of Mark and Smark held a rally in Sturgis, the Python God arrived and did do battle with the Atlantian Giant. And behold, a new Champion God of the World Atlantis was crowned.
14 Now it came to be that all the Heroes of Atlantis, and all the peoples of Mark and of Smark, looked to the Scorpion God to eradicate the cancerous New World Order.
15 But the serpent, master of deception, did deceive all the peoples, and the Heroes, by having an old Cobra masquerade as the Scorpion God. And the imposter did terrible things and brought confusion to the Hall of Heroes.
16 And the real Scorpion God did show up to lay waste to the imposter and to strike at the NWO, but he said unto the other Atlantian Gods bound together in opposition to the invading force, “Anguish befall those who do not believe in me and think me a traitor to Atlantis and the Hall of Heroes.”
17 And still the peoples and the Heroes accused the Scorpion of being a part of the New World Order that was conquering Atlantis.
Borden 5 (S.C. 15)
1 The cancerous New World Order grew in numbers and power, and it was revealed to be the creation of that vile demon, Bischoff.
2 And the New World Order did purge Atlantis of its Gods and Heroes, one by one. And the peoples of Mark, and of Smark, did give in to decadence and freely worship the Python God and the New World Order.
3 The Narcissist, the Macho God, the Piper God, the Atlantian Giant, the Nature God, the brother heroes Big Pappus and Gremlin, and El Hijo de Rey Misterio all fell in battle against member gods of the NWO.
4 Now the Scorpion God did descend from the high heavens in the form of a man. And with his face painted white like the legendary ghost crow of lore, he stood with the dissenting people who rejected the New World Order.
5 And in this form, the Scorpion God was known as Sting. And Sting began appearing in the high planes and looked down on Atlantis and the New World Order.
6 The New World Order was destroying the empire, and the people clamored for the Scorpion God to destroy the Python.
7 When the NWO would bring anarchy, the Scorpion did descend from the high planes as Sting and would fight off the invaders. And he would point his finger towards the Python God.
8 Now the serpent was more subtle than the other gods, and refused to clash with the Scorpion.
9 On the moon day services, the Python and the demon Bischoff would speak falsely and demean the Scorpion God, and this angered the people of Mark.
10 And the Scorpion would not talk back, and thus he was like a silent assassin within Atlantis. And Sting became the ghost of Atlantis and he did strike fear into the poisonous heart of the New World Order.
11 When the high priest JoJo Dillonaus took the alter on the moon day service, the congregation of the peoples of Mark and Smark would shower him with prayer. The people wanted to see the Scorpion God and the Python God battle. And Sting appeared before JoJo and pointed at the people. But JoJo was a phlegmatic priest and offered the Scorpion the opportunity to do wage war with other member gods of the New World Order. And the Scorpion did refuse them all.
12 It finally came to be that JoJo Dillonaus heard the prayers and reported back to the Emperor, and a message was sent down from the heavens that exclaimed that the Python God and the Scorpion God would battle at the annual Starrcade, the Atlantian Winter Solstice celebration.
13 Now the Scorpion God had become the most popular and widely worshiped god in the history of Atlantis. And the people of Mark, and of Smark, believed in the Scorpion and accepted him as the savior of Atlantis. And they yearned for the Scorpion God to cut the head off the old serpent who had deceived them and brought ruination to the kingdom.
14 And finally the night did come and the people came from all corners of the Earth to witness the epic struggle between the Scorpion and the Python, the final battle whose seeds were planted when the Python did betray Atlantis and form the New World Order.
15 And a boy appeared and gave the Scorpion’s call;
16 “When man’s heart is full of deceit, it burns up; dies. And a dark shadow falls over his soul.
17 From the ashes of a once great man, has risen a curse; A wrong that must be righted.
18 We look to the skies for a vindicator, someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the sane god who created him… The battle between good, and evil has begun.
19 Against an army of shadows, lies the dark warrior; The prevailer of good.
20 With a voice of silence, and a mission of justice. This is the Scorpion God; this is Sting.”
21 And after the boy’s call the thunder did sound and lightening struck the earth. And behold, the Scorpion God appeared in the flesh as Sting, and the Python did tremble in the heavenly ring of smoke.
22 Now the two adversaries did finally lock up and in the struggle the serpent did try to deceive the people. But a skilled Sharpshooter appeared before the peoples and spoiled the Python’s plans.
23 Now the Scorpion did put away the Python God to become the new Champion God of the World Atlantis. And the messenger Schiavonecantannounce did exclaim it the greatest moment in Atlantian history, and the Hall of Heroes emptied to celebrate with the victorious Scorpion God.
24 But the people of Mark and Smark, who had come from all over to witness the epic struggle, were aloof with the battle for the Scorpion God did not eradicate the Python. And confusion spread throughout the kingdom.
25 Now it came to pass that the high priest JoJo Dillonaus did strip the Scorpion God of the title Champion God of the World Atlantis. This angered the people of Mark and especially the people of Smark. And they began to leave Atlantis in droves, seeking refuge in the rebellious Northern Region on the other side of Mount Kayfabelous.
25 And in S.C. 16 the Scorpion God did speak for the first time since S.C. 14, calling JoJo a poltroon. And the Scorpion God pointed at the Python and proclaimed him a proud dead man, saying unto him a passage from the Book of Origin, “And those who are prideful and refuse to bow down shall be laid low and made unto dust.”
A note from Mark Smart, The Wrestling Mythology History & Museum curator: “It is widely believed that there are three different Book of Borden’s due to references made to the sacred texts in other books, but the other two have not been uncovered and may have even been destroyed, if they ever even existed. What we do know from the evidence presented elsewhere, and fulfilling the prophecy mentioned in this book, is that Atlantis disappeared shortly after S.C. 18, sinking in the Gulf off the Atlantian shore of the city La Vela.”
